Recently I facilitated a workshop on behalf of an organization, for an amazing group of people, who attended as part of an upskilling program designed to support them into employment. My brief from the organization, was to provide tools and ideas to build and support self-confidence and resilience. Prepping the workshop material, got me thinking, what are the ingredients of self-confidence?

Per the dictionary definition self-confidence is described as: “A feeling of trust in one’s abilities, qualities and judgement.” Great definition, but how do you actually develop trust in your abilities, qualities and judgement?

There are a number of ingredients to self-confidence but for the sake of brevity, I’ll give you, what I believe are the three most important.

Firstly, consider your values; these are your most basic operating principles. When you act in alignment with your values, you can’t help but be a more energized, confident and open person. If you have never stopped to consider what your values are, then that it is an exercise worth doing. When you are clear on your values, you have a better appreciation of what drives you. By linking your behaviors to your values, the more positive and confident you become.

For example, if you identify that health and fitness are high on your list of values, each time you opt for an unhealthy food choice or choose not to exercise, you are working against one of your own values i.e. your behavior is not aligned with your value. As an outcome you feel guilty, the negative inner voice starts and so on. With every aligned decision you make, you become stronger, more empowered and confident.

Secondly, for those of you that think you cannot change your lot in life, understand that self-confidence is not dependent on your surname, your past, how much money you earn, attractiveness or whatever you feel someone else has, that you do not. It comes from your ability to consistently push yourself out of your comfort zone. Thus, self-confidence is a doing word. The more you put yourself in situations that stretch you, the more you grow; the more you grow the more confident you become; the effects are cumulative.

Contribution is another area to help build self-confidence. When you focus your efforts on helping another person, those actions create a catalyst for their own achievement. BAM! That’s your feel-good factor right there and when you feel good, you feel confident. Such is the flow on effect of being a contributor.

So, remember:
1. Understand your values and act in alignment with them;
2. Move out of your comfort zone – often;
3. Contribute to your family, friends and the wider community.

Self-confidence is a VERB, it won’t come to you, you have to go after it.